Today we’re going to have a fun girl chat about Tyra Banks, well I say a fun heart to but really it’s one of the deepest think pieces that I’ve ever written. My blog is called Underneath Your Lingerie and usually I use that term in light, sparkly ways but true sparkle first comes from darkness, but first I want to share my own personal story…I grew up in an uber conservative household. There was a lot of love, delicious food, and homeschooled projects. There was also a lot of church, sewing the slit up my skirt and messages about my body.
Sometimes I was given messages about my body that weren’t the healthiest. About how the men at church were looking at me because of how I dressed (I don’t know if they actually were or if it was some of the women that were upset). And this was told to a girl who already hated herself.
Usually we were one of the few Black families in the entire town. My body (I thought) was misshapen. I hate my large forehead. I despised my thick thighs. My flat butt simply refused to grow despite what high calorie meal I scarfed down or tortuous “Brazilian Butt Lift Workout” I put my body through. My shoulders were so broad that I often was asked by others if I played football and my feet? Well I called my feet “Ronald McDonald” because at 5’3” with a size 11 shoe size I felt like I was wearing his feet.
Always the Queen for drama I even rewrote Christina Aguilera’s song “Beautiful.” I still remember the first line that I wrote… “I’m ugly, just like they say. Words always bring me down.”
This paints a picture of just how glowingly healthy my body image was.
Everything shifted for me the moment that I saw Tyra Banks walking down the Victoria’s Secret Runway.
She had a high forehead…just like me!
She was my skin tone!
And now (looking back) I can see that she was even my energy frequency!
Before Victoria’s Secret came along women wore lingerie in a quiet, sheepish way. But the way the models walking down the runway? They owned it. And Tyra set the standard! She embodied the brand (as she always did in her fashion model days) as she walked and she really was the first model to ever do that. All the other models were just “walking” down the runway, but Tyra? She strutted! And once the other women saw Tyra strutting they they started strutting too!
All of the sudden it was possible to feel that even if I wasn’t beautiful right now that one day I would eventually be.
I studied everything about Tyra, to this day I watch videos on her different business moves that she made as a model (it really was pure genius) and as a young teen I even bought her book on Self Love, which was rare for me to actually purchase a book because most of the ones I had came from the library.
I’ve lost who I was more than a few times and even now as I grown adult I’ll watch old Victoria’s Secret Fashion video of Tyra Banks and remind myself of my essence that is inside of me too.
So all this to say that I almost skipped out on watching the docuseries. With the political climate, with the emphasis on putting Black women down – from Michelle and Baraka Obama being painted as apes by the current president to Nicki Minaj alluding that when White children are having to downplay their beauty so that Black girls can feel beautiful too (which I really have no idea where she got that from but Underneath Your Lingerie isn’t a political blog so I won’t even go there).
I really didn’t feel like watching a “takedown” of Tyra Banks, especially on Black History Month, and especially when she to me is the spirit of beauty. Tyra has made many firsts – the first model to book 25 shows during Paris Fashion Week, the first woman on GQ magazine, how she pivoted her career once the couture fashion houses left her for trash is unparalleled.
But I remember an interview between Naomi and Tyra Banks and in that interview I saw two women that I looked up too and I saw them as real life human beings who make mistakes and not immaculate role models and that inspired me to do the healing work on myself.
About a year or so ago I read an interview where Tyra shared that when she first tried out for Victoria’s Secret the hairstylist didn’t know how to do her hair and she didn’t book Victoria’s Secret! Tyra pleaded with her agent for a year to get anther chance to get in front of Victoria’s Secret and a year later – she did!
This time the morning of her V.S. audition Tyra hired her own hair dresser and had the hair dresser come over to her house at 5 am before going to her audition. Tyra said that was the first and the last time she ever had to hire her own hair dresser. Tyra became a Victoria’s Secret angel after that!
When in the beginning of the ANTM docuseries Ebonee shared about how the hair stylist didn’t know how to do her hair (and we saw video of it) the little girl in me wept. That is definitely the place that Tyra could have intervened.
There also was another season in which a model’s photograph session was a replication of a the scene in which her real life mother was shot in. I can’t imagine how on a subconscious level that really fucks with (sorry no other word for it) your head.
We really have to have a talk about morality and what we do in the pursuit of clicks. And (to me) that’s what the documentary didn’t do. It also didn’t talk to the models such as Toccara, Eva, and Yaya who had made it. A fair documentary gives a complete story and serves as a reflection point for the viewer. To me, this docuseries didn’t serve as that. It came off as pointing the finger at Tyra.
The practice of giving a person a ton of alcohol and then stepping back and filming what happens is routinely done in every single reality tv show. There is a “Shandie” in every single reality series, her name just isn’t Shandie. And I don’t say that to make it alright or ok or to minimize something horrible but to say it seems like we’re having a ton of fun “Holding Tyra accountable.” When I remember back in my IG days I would decide which photo to post in terms of who would get the most likes. Is anyone still doing that today? Yes, most of us.
Sadly even watching some videos lead by people who have a full awareness of somatic health and taking care of the body. Instead of focusing on strengthening those elements they are also pursuing “clicks” and have literally integrated clicking sounds or labeled their videos with fear titles in order to get the most views of their video. This is a business and sensationism sells. That is not a Tyra problem at all, it’s an us problem.
And that fact that the one model Keenah (forgive me, I may have some of the models name wrong) was touched by one of the male performers and then reprimanded when she tried to stand up for herself – that made my heart break. Why wasn’t there a deeper conversation about how women can protect themselves that was specifically highlighted on the documentary. Why, when in the beginning when we saw Tyra and Kimora going harder on Ebonee then the other girls and saying she looked “rough”, why was that moment not used to talk about colorism and the inequality of beauty standards for dark skinned women vs. light? Because until that is at least talked about we aren’t going to fix anything. And isn’t that what the documentary is about? Or isn’t it?
Was the documentary really about change? Or about making someone look bad?
I’m going to write a post about my negative experience with the body positivity movement soon but I think that on a greater scale that when it comes to this “we” enjoy seeing one person and taking all our pain and frustrations out onto them vs. taking responsibility for the standards themselves and fixing them – which I think is an inside thing, not a ” point at her thing.”
Tyra literally not only broke their barriers but she built doors in walls that never existed. And I don’t think people realize just how much of a GOAT Tyra really is. Even with this documentary. Even today. She has done stuff, especially within the modeling industry that probably no model will ever replicate.
I’m in no way trying to downplay the seriousness but I really want to ask the people who did this documentary, “So was this about vengeance for (some) of the models that were hurt?”
“Was this the cultural turning point?”
And if so it sucked. I know that’s super unprofessional to stay but if your going to tell a story this deep interview the models who made it vs. the ones who didn’t so that way we can see the difference in terms of what works. Why wasn’t it done? I think it was done because it wouldn’t fit a certain narrative, a certain idea.
And not just because she was black (this is something that has been rumbling up since 2020, although for a long, long time many people both white and black have wanted to take down Tyra as semblance of beauty for black women to look too). Black women out of self hate, and others out of wanted to remind Black women that they are not the beauty ideal – the European standard is. Or what is is that a teacher was recorded saying… “If you treat Black people like the back door they’ll eventually use it.” Something to that extent. I’m not even blaming the producers of this docuseries for that. There are much greater (I hate using that term for evil) and darker powers at play that use certain situations to bring that out.
See if you look at Tyra Banks she is the design of Asherah and women live out the stories of the goddesses that they are. (This is where we go deep here but I’m going to try and not take you too deep). What a goddess really is, is an energy or a frequency. Different women have different “frequencies” or what I like to think of, are “fragrances” inside of their body – but in saying that, even though every woman’s frequency or fragrance is different the one fragrance that every woman has inside of her is Asberah, or another word for it is “The essence of a goddess.” It’s like if you were to walk into Victoria’s Secret to shop for some Bombshell perfume. Well every single woman has a certain percentage of Bombshell perfume inside of her body. The higher her perfume count the more she is demonized because that is what happened to the original goddess. (I usually start at the deep end not end at it, but I believe in you and I think you are following me).
There are many different strands of Bombshell…there’s Bombshell Luxe, Bombshell Paradise, Bombshell Wildflower, etc. Some of the variations of Bombshell have been entirely wiped from the earth but once in a blue moon they reappear. Tyra doesn’t know it but she’s one of those flowers. When I was a little girl and I watched her walking down the Victoria’s Secret fashion show I wasn’t just reacting to the fact that she was the same skin color as me I was reacting intuitively that she was the same energy system. See even though my intuitive gifts were suppressed or hidden when I was little (I think out of protection) I still had them. A woman is still an angel, even when her feathers have been ripped off. And right now that is what I want to whisper both to Tyra and to the models who were hurt. As we women all of us begin as a flower that eventually blossoms into a fragrance – we may not get to choose if we are Bombshell Seduction or Heavenly but we can decide just how true of the scent of the perfume that comes through becomes.
It takes a lot of courage, a ton of healing and in insane amount of bravery to heal as women back to into our true scents mainly because we as women wipe them off of each others bodies.
And whether it’s not a program that we are unconsciously carrying out it’s our responsibility to stop the program. One day I’ll write a post about my personal negative experience with the body positivity industry, the downside of so-called “pretty privilege” and how being a “Soft black girl” can sadly – in at least my experience so far, can make you more vulnerable – especially when you are coming into your frequency. And a frequency as women that we tend to lust after but at the same time hate in other women is the frequency of beauty. And this has nothing to do with skin color. Adriana Lima (who literally seems like the nicest person on earth) was ripped to shreds when she gained weight after having her baby. The saying that they love to build you up but love even more to tear you down is true. But here’s the thing, when it comes to a beautiful woman they hunt to tear you down. Which is something entirely different than the saying. I’m going to say something that I think most of the world would deny but I think the reason that Erika Jayne from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills receives so much hate isn’t because of what her ex husband Tom Girardi did – it’s because she is gorgeous. And women felt like she “Got what she deserved.” Notice how she was everywhere but no other member of his family ever was? I don’t think it’s because she was famous, although I know that’s what most people would argue. Literally people like to see gorgeous women at their lowest and it’s the most disgusting treatment on earth.
I know Tyra is a private person however if I were her I would heal, do some deep, deep healing work from all the abuse (because that’s what we are doing to her right now, we are abusing her just like how she abused some of the models and she herself was). We really need to take agency and also understand that at the end of the day Tyra was thrown off her own show. She was the face of something, not the cause.
If I were Tyra eventually I might open a YouTube channel, not for performance but to just be myself. She’s know for her ice cream store – I would rebrand her ice cream in a different way, instead of being called Smize I would call it Heavenly Delights, and if Tyra does want to be the face of the brand then I would bring what made her “Tyra as a brand”, into it – it’s not to sexualualize ice cream for men but I would bring the hot, spicy Tyra from Victoria’s Secret, Sports Illustrated days but this time with her full woman body and mesh it with ice cream. An instant sell out. Because while people might love to hate you even through that they will still buy from you so you might as well get rich off your hatred. But only if you have the mentally stability and deep inner peace to do it. Which leads me to this, I actually pray for Tyra. Hollywood can turn people into a lot of things. But the energy of 14 million people hating on you is a lot of energy to take on. I can’t imagine how Michael Jackson did it.
I think we need to remember at the end of the day that people are people. People are human beings. And to me that is what attracts ne to Tyra and to all greats in their perspective fields the most. If this is what Tyra can do. If this is what Serena can do. Then what can I do? And make that wonder into a form of excitement that we deliciously unwrap with love. Are you ready to join me Gorgeous? Are you ready to unwrap just how decadent, beautiful, and delicious you can become? Sign up for the Legs of a Goddess program below!