23 ways barbie represented the divine feminine.

When one of my best friends heard that I had lost everything from my childhood except for my doll, including all my Barbies, she was the ultimate girlfriend and gifted me one of her Barbie’s that she had as child. She has gorgeous dark skin like mine, a cute leather bomber jacket, pretty little earrings, a red tutu that has sparkles on the bottom, long shining hair just like Asherah did. I was in tears when my friend shared with me that she was going to gift me one of her own Barbie’s. She’s beyond beautiful and I look at her everyday. And as always her feet were in the perfect “Barbie” shape, and she had a smile and lately I’ve been thinking about even shopping for Barbie clothes for her, I know I’m an adult but listen this is Barbie. Earlier I mentioned that her hair was just like Asherah. Well who is Asherah? The original Barbie. And today I’m going to share her story.

The original Barbie design is within a woman’s body and at the same time that’s who women are. “Humans only have one ending. Ideas live forever.”

“Oshun is such a strong force in our collective unconscious that sometimes she turns up in advertisements and movies and popular culture in ways that we would often overlook. In Hollywood when we see this image of this  sensual woman whose walking and laughing and enjoying life (and here’s the strange thing) often she’s wearing yellow that’s very much Oshun. When you see a woman emerging from water that represents Oshun are even more famously Aphrodite. It’s trope between women and sensuality and water.” – Ayesha K. Faines.

Today at Underneath Your Lingerie we are going to dip into the design of Barbie because Barbie is who every woman is underneath her lingerie. I loved the Barbie movie, it made me glow and feel like a little girl again but also it healed my grown woman too.

What I’ve written below is a short little Barbie story, how it related to my feminine or spiritual awakening and an overall secret about our bodies as women.

Part 1: The beginning of Barbie.

In the beginning of Barbie, in the beginning of the movie we have the Dark Feminine (the original more seductive bombshell Barbie) vs. The Light Feminine (the second Barbie that you see all cheerful in Barbie land). The Dark Feminine vs. the Light Feminine can also represent the Virgin Mary and Mary Magdalene. The tree of life vs. the tree of knowledge of the good evil. The “Madonna” or the “Whore” (spoiler, the tree of life was made into a stripper pole).

The goddess who represented the tree of life and also a woman’s body was turned into a slut for generations, which if you research stripper poles you’ll find that they originally originated as goddess poles that were once worshiped. And no woman is a whore, I hate that name. Here it’s the concept of the Madanna and the whore that I’m referring too.  A tree was split into too. But it wasn’t really a tree but a pole. The stripper pole (the whore) the dark feminine, vs. the pole that represented a goddess named Asherah. Many people have said that although Asherah’s name appears in the bible, some instances of her name have been replaced with a some kind of pole or wooden totem. While in some instances she’s referred to as the Queen of Heaven in other instances she was demonized and referred to as the whore of Babylon.  This is the virgin vs. the whore dynamic that we face in society.

Every woman lives what’s in the collective unconsciousness. In the beginning of the movie it’s dark and then light but barren and you can see the little girls playing with dolls. What the dolls are, are frequencies and the highest frequency that’s been captured is Barbie.

How do I know that she’s been captured? Hint: Look at her outfit. The outfits all along give the entire theme away, she’s in a swimsuit that has the black and white stripes on it. Before prison suits were orange, they used to be striped. You can follow along the outfits all throughout the movie, from the next scene where’s she’s in a 50’s very Stepford wife dress (which represents how the goddesses were turned into housewives, similar to the verse that says, “When the men of God saw the daughters of men,” the proper sentence structure of this verse is more likely something along, “when the sons of  Demons saw the daughters of the goddesses) .

The roller skating outfit symbolizes how certain women and men with a lot of healing power in their bodies have a certain thing that identifies them, all the way to the cowgirl outfit which represents the warrior priestess to the end where Barbie is in a yellow dress, just like Oshun and within a lot of moves whenever a woman is being sensual she’s often seen in the color yellow. I know that the director did it as a homage to Dorthy in the Wizard of Oz however one to me  it represents the color of Oshun (and also Dorthy is a woman looking for delight, home, her feminine journey in her own own way).

There’s even a further tie back to why Oshun wore a yellow dress which highlights even more the symbology of this post. Click this post here to learn why she wore yellow.

But I just jumped way ahead. We’re back in the beginning. When I share the story of Barbie please know that I’m not trying to rewrite the Bible. I’ve been denying something for a  long time and some parts of me internally still fight it. There’s things in the bible that either weren’t meant to be there or they were hidden in another way.

I started off with sharing about the Dark Feminine vs. the Light Feminine right? Here’s the thing, they were never supposed to be split. The Dark Feminine represents the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and the light feminine represents the the tree of life.

There is a goddess whose often symbolized by trees, more specifically a pole, and she also represents a woman’s body. Her name is Asherah, or the Queen of Heaven. Others know her as God’s wife. However if you look at the inscriptions it says “Yah and his consort.” It’s in the possessive. This never happens, with any of the goddesses and gods to have something possessive is very, very rare. And I feel like it’s only me but it gives me creepy vibes.

Some places say that Asherah was a demon (and we’ll get to that) others say that she she is the Queen of Heaven (mainly because the inscriptions on her statues that were found says Yah and his consort and mention her as the Queen of Heaven, she’s also mentioned in the book of Jeremiah and other places in scripture). 

However, and I don’t know how to share this without breaking anyone but what heaven is a collection of  high frequencies and Asherah just happened to be the highest one.The highest frequency in the world was Barbie and Barbie herself in the movie stands as a representation of the divine feminine.

You might have heard of Asherah by one of her other names, Shekinah otherwise known as the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is really the highest spirit.  The Holy spirit is our Bodies and our Bodies are Barbie. How do I know this (other than the fact that I’ve literally lived this in my body)?

Returning back to the book that has a few secrets (and quite frankly has a few spells in it too) “God said let us make them in our own image. Male and female he created them.” See the thing is, and I’m just going to say it. I don’t think he did the creation.

Let me say this in another way, “God said let us make them in our lingerie. Male and female she created them.”

Now I did play with the pronouns a bit but here’s the thing, I don’t believe that as the verse stands today that it’s how it originally came through. 

And I believe that goes for more than one verse, a dangerous belief yes but the moment I came to my own truth in this things began to make sense, just in a sad way. And this actually applies to more than one verse, but for not just talking about this one. God said let “US” the word “Us”, now it’s just conjecture here but growing up I read the bible every single year and in bible classes we would always wonder why it said “us”. Wasn’t God by himself? He created the world on his own right? So we settled that “Us” must have either been the Holy Spirit or his angels (and I should probably share here that in the religion that I belonged too – God, was God. Jesus was his son. And the Holy Spirit was God’s power. We didn’t believe in the trinity, we believed that each was separate). So if I’m  believing that Asherah was his wife than I’m believing that I’m made in her image not his.

Which means because of my belief, “Asherah is every woman and every woman is Asherah.”

Or another way to say it, “Barbie is every woman and every woman is Barbie.”

Part 2: The true identity of Barbie.

In the next scene we’re shown the true identity of Barbie. How fresh and innocent with a childlike quality  she is.

This post is going to anger a lot of Christians. It’s also going to anger a lot of Spiritual people. One night when I was really lost and frustrated with my anatomical transformation I was shown the garden of Eden and I saw Eve.

I hate sharing this. I really do, what I’m about to share feels like I’m letting the whole world in on a secret that was only given to me, I this feels way too vulnerable and private to pull the band-aid off for others to judge whether or not I’m telling the truth. The moment I saw her I realized that Eve never bit the apple. The Eve I saw was innocent. You know how all the Barbie’s were like, “Hi Barbie, Hi Barbie, Hi Barbie” and doll-like. That’s how Eve was, the same anatomical changes that happened to my body – Eve was the full transformation of it. See my body had began to glow, back then it was only my face. Eve’s entire body was glowing (at this point I want to glaringly point out the Holy Spirit, and how it said that Moses face glowed and how one of my aunts once told me that, that passage in the burning bush is God-Shekinah or Shekinah) however I want to stay online with the Barbie movie.

Now Eve didn’t have blonde hair like Barbie but she was Barbie. I’ve also realized, and this is going to be a bombshell to hear. But what Barbie represents is sex.

The goddesses have double representations. Oshun is the goddess of love but also known as a woman’s cream, Asherah is the tree of life and the tree of knowledge of good and evil, the dark feminine and the light feminine.

Sex was made into a barbie doll which is why the Queen of Heaven is also sometimes called a demon – it’s because it was a very convenient gateway to demonizing women for their bodies because they wouldn’t want to live in them, because if they did they would realize that our bodies literally feel like garden of Eden.

Just ask any woman who has actually lived in her body, which I know it’s so easy to assume that we are all living in our bodies however as a Sports Medicine, physical therapy tech, chiropractic assistant, personal trainer for over a decade, and whatever the term for what I’m doing now (a body health coach?) I’m here to tell you almost no women is, including me.

Women aren’t sex in a body Sex is our bodies. And another thing that I don’t even know how to share here but I only saw Eve and I have a hunch (which I myself brushed away the moment that I received it). I have a hunch that Adam never existed.

What actually happened, well I think there was a deep sleep. But I have a strange feeling that the anatomy of a woman’s body was changed. But that’s just conjecture, yes I can see things to support it but I want to stay inline with the movie. And I think the scene from Barbie standing there taller than the other dolls and all the little girls looking up at her (like she’s an Asherah pole, get it) and the next scene your seeing Barbieland.  Barbieland is us giving a glimpse into Barbie’s body.  Barbieland itself is a deep dive inside of Barbie.’s body?  Or another way to say it – this Barbie is Barbie’s spirit, this Barbie is Barbie’s heart, etc. and etc.

Within Barbieland all the different Barbie’s are parts of her, which is to say the different Barbie’s in Barbie land represent Barbie’s soul, Barbie’s spirit, Barbie’s aura, Barbie’s electric field. Barbie’s heart and so on, their all parts of Barbie.

Part 3: What’s happened to Barbie.

I really think that every woman still has this pure Barbie quality that’s woven into your body.

I know in Parts 1 & 2 I’ve said a lot of things that have never been heard before. I can see the energy system with a woman’s body. Only at certain times of the day. And depending on where I am in terms of my own stage of awakening. One day I saw a substance, gold with roses that’s inside a woman’s body and that’s what I think our bodies are used for. Because what I’ve realized is that regardless of how a woman’s body are Barbie is damaged that energy (if that’s what it is) that’s gold with roses is always there. It’s kind of like how even when you took off Barbie’s legs and cut off all the hair off your Barbie she was still a Barbie.

She’s always been Barbie. Your body, she’s always been Barbie. And she’s been used for her energy but also for Barbie’s body. When you talk to your body as a Barbie if you’ll notice she’ll start to respond back to you in this way, in a very Barbie-like way, this entire time, no matter what has been thrown your way in life your body has been Barbie herself going through it.

In the movie Barbie begins to have bad dreams, thoughts of suicide and death (which in Barbieland doesn’t exist) and then flat feet. What you are looking at is the demonetization of the goddess and a spiritual awakening.

Part 4:

Barbie’s mutation &

Demonization of the goddess.

For me, the part that Barbie’s foot went from straight to flat was a parallel to when after listening to a meditation which said “Remember who you are”, and played certain angel music and I felt something awaken in my body. In the weeks after that people reacted to me in  a way of being overly sexualized and attracted to my body (the men) while women treated me with disgust. As this vibration rises the treatment has gotten much worse. 

The goddesses represent different elements and energy fields. Asherah represents our bodies but also Asherah represented sex. And because of this sex was used somehow used as a sacrifice and she was called a demon. 

I’m of the belief that how women treat our bodies translates to a greater women’s body. So because of this women had to be trained to hate themselves, to their their bodies were ugly. To close themselves to their beauty so that what makes them beautiful would be used. This locked up parts of  a woman that can’t get through.

If you look into Hollywood and the sex magic parties to childhood sex trafficking it all goes back to Asherah.

On a global scale this is for anyone who has ever gone through a spiritual awakening. I feel like the Barbie movie is a more barbie-like almost sexier comparison than Avengers or Xmen of what happens when people come into their powers.  Some of them are literally the most ordinary people who are then dismissed or demonized for being different. And I think this is why I talk about this. Because when a little child is born being able to see things that we can’t see. We really shouldn’t be calling the child a demon like the church does and having an excorism. It also (I don’t think) jumps someone into being a witch, maybe we just don’t understand the anatomy of the human body.  Just because someone else anatomy or psychic gifts or gifts that aren’t psychic but there isn’t terminology that exists for them yet, some are so rare that this might only happen in history just this once.

None of this makes someone a demon. Saying , “Oh this is a witch.” “You must be a child witch.” Which no one says, but as more children are being more intuitive and sensitive to other things. It’s because those things are there.

Our bodies are waking up. Our bodies are Barbie. Sex was demonized because sex herself was turned into a demon.

Part 5: Barbie visits a Shaman.

After Barbie starts malfunctioning and her feet start changing so she won’t fit into her frequency anymore (i.e. Asherah thrown our of the garden of Eden, a high unbelievably fragrant frequency). High heels literally represent frequencies and during my own body of Barbie transformation I’ve literally had to find certain heels to wear keep a frequency this high grounded in my body, but that’s a story for a different day. Right now we’re in Barbie’s. Barbie visits weird Barbie, who is like a Shaman or as some cultures refer to as a Wise Woman. The shaman explains that there is a little girl in the real world who is calling to her, which for me throws back to a vision I once had of being on a boat, it was me but it wasn’t me, this woman looked like Barbie. This was way before the Barbie movie came out. The woman is calm and serene but under the water 10,000 (and I don’t know the term to use here so I’ll just say Barbie beings) are calling to her and Barbie is coming to her  because they can’t go through. Now the meditation that I had this vision was one of the womb meditations performed by Kara Singson whose been on this podcast. Barbie in a way represents our womb. And when we speak to our wombs our wombs speak back.

Not knowing what to do Barbie visits a Shaman. Not all of us have Shamans. Someone shamanized ourselves from scratch (if that’s a real word). However you see Barbie waking up to other realms and unfortunately other realms are about to wake up to her. Which will eventually be good but right now is not.

Weird Barbie shows Barbie two different shoes. The shoes represent frequencies. The high heel represents a high frequency and the metaphor that is being told here is that Barbie will fit into her high frequency again if she enters the real world, the place where her frequency was changed.

Part 6: Barbie in a flipped reality.

Barbie enters a flipped reality. Earlier I mentioned how important it is to follow the clothes. Well Barbie and Ken (who has come with Barbie) are in bright 80’s style leotards. They stick out like a sore thumb.

Women and men who have lot of sexual energy (I’ll just use that term here) sexual energy really is just the Holy Spirit and it’s not sexual, she’s sex. Because sex is a she. However women and men who have a lot of healing energy have markings. I’m going to jokingly call it the mark of the beast because your treated inhuman by a lot of society for having an energy so pure and healing inside of your body.

It’s like a force field. And there’s certain people who have the ability to see this force field (and energy sucking people are really good at finding this force field out and knowing who can heal them ). And it’s actually the tree of life. The tree of life wasn’t hidden in the garden of Eden. It felt the garden of Eden. It was Barbie. And even though everyone’s seen Barbie I don’t think anyone’s ever seen the tree of life and the reason why I say that is because at one point I begin sketching what I saw and I realized that what I’m seeing is a willow tree. The curlier the branches of this willow tree the more life energy it has – and where is this tree? It’s within certain women.

Not only that, and I don’t know how to say this but I can see who (male or female) is who Shekinah or Sex and whose not. I just call them Shekinah’s. Listen, to be transparent now just like I don’t believe the Bible now I don’t believe anyone in history who ever wrote about the tree of life because here they are talking about searching for it and people have been living off of it for decades. And quite frankly not only is the tree of life exhausted but everyone in every diagram has drawn the wrong tree. I’m not a botanist but there’s 4 trees I know. 

#1. The trees of the redwood forest.

#2. Pine trees aka Christmas tree.

#3. The willow tree.

And #4. Regular trees.

Honestly this is a small thing to be perturbed by but how come no one has every drawn a willow tree when what I’m seeing are willow trees. And by the way not going to go into here but the flower of life is actually as women’s womb (I discovered this when I was living with a roommate who used to practice spiritual sex magic on my body and one night I was shown a gray inorganic machine that was sending out a frequency that was messing up my flower or womb and consequently every womb in the world.  Women’s wombs are flowers of life are opening, within this opening is a very high vibration. Which is why Barbie is chased for her vibration. And at first she’s not so much being chased for it but being dismissed for it.

Part 7: Barbie at the Park.

After Ken and Barbie are released from jail (which I know I haven’t talked a lot about Ken but I will touch on him more later, this movie is deep enough just looking at Barbie!) Once released from jail Barbie finds a park bench and asks Ken to leave so that way she can have some time to think and plan out what to do. So Ken ventures off and further discovers this patriarchy (which by the way did anyone else catch the cameo of the douchbage character from Cameron Diaz movie The Other Woman in which he womanizes multiple woman while setting up a swindling business under his wife’s name? They played on that role and he’s the one that walks out of the building – it’s been intentionally been put in as a not so hidden symbol of a womanizer in a movie!) Meanwhile Barbie rests on the park bench.  At that moment she looks around and she sees kids playing, people in love, people arguing, and even a gorgeous older women next to her and it’s her first time seeing a woman age.  I’ve been talking a lot about dark and evil things but I want to pause one moment and talk about something beautiful.

What this is, is a representation of another world. A much more beautiful one. the deeper you go into a fantasy world the more that you realize that the fantasy world is actually true.

Those people in these scene represents emotions that actually are living things, spirits, or entities, or energies (I’m not sure what’s the correct term for them). One of those people is Joy. The other one is Laughter. Another is Love. And I know that’s true because just like the other moments I’ve seen it, I guess that’s what that bible verse which said “put on the breastplate of rightenousness meant’ when I read that years ago I never realized that righteousness was actually alive. So Barbie’s sees and experiences this as the first time. Maybe at this point I should share that sex is a life energy, so it’s one of those entities too.

Another beautiful thing that this moment represents in a more practical way (because I know that’s a really high rep to give someone that they can understand, I’ve actually visited with Joy, I’ve actually visited with peace and other beings that I don’t know their names so I know that their there).

However when I tell something I like it to be something that we can all live, and a way that we can live this out is witnessing this as Barbie is reconnecting to her inner child and trying to find that moment where things went wrong and where this inner child was lost, which is what we have to do to find our original Barbie again. And I don’t know why I feel like that’s important to share here but perhaps everything will make more sense.

And in a gorgeous way (I think we all got this), this was also a symbol of how we are told not to age, once Barbie for the first time sees what a woman looks like once she is older. The woman in this scene in which Barbie says, “Your beautiful.” And the old woman reply’s, “I know it.” In real life this woman is one of the oldest people   ever to win a Grammy, she’s Ann Roth a re-known costume designer. This in a way stands for  how we’re told at a certain age that women are done. Not to honor the journey of the crone (which I’ve always hated that word). This woman was a costume designer who had won an Oscar and at a time of filming this she was 91. Cute note here, Greta Gerwig said that she’s her friend and she had to promise to have a lot of martinis with her.  I’m mainly, in this blog post looking at it as how the Divine Feminine shows up however as you can see it can show up in many different ways. To quote Greta Gerwig and how she saw the scene:

She looks at a woman who is actually a friend of mine, brilliant costumer Ann Roth. She was 91 when we shot that. She’s looking great. She did the costumes for Midnight Cowboy and Klute. She’s a legend. I think she’s one of the oldest people to ever win an Oscar, recently. Anyways, she’s fabulous and I had to really promise to have a lot of martinis with her to get her to do this movie.

Barbie’s sort​​​​​​​ of looking around at the world and then​​​​​​​ looks at her and takes her in, and she’s​​​​​​​ never seen aging before, and she’s struck by her, and she​​​​​​​ says, “You’re so beautiful,” and Ann, as this woman says, “I know it.” It’s such a​​​​​​​ wonderful moment because A) Ann is fabulous and B) it’s just this kind of​​​​​​​ connection through time and I think one​​​​​​​ thing I’m always interested in as a​​​​​​​ filmmaker is women talking to each other​​​​​​​ through generations. I think that’s fascinating to me and it’s​​​​​​​ this first glimmer of humanity with idealization of this is the ideal way that someone looks or is.

​​​​​​​Even with​​​​​​​ optimization, like “We’re gonna make​​​​​​​ you better stronger faster.” There’s​​​​​​​ this hysteria around maximizing​​​​​​​ everything and I think sometimes the part where you age or things break down isn’t without its own beauty. I always​​​​​​​ think of the paintings that​​​​​​​ Monet made when his sight was going and they’re unbelievably beautiful, so I don’t​​​​​​​ know that everything always has to be​​​​​​​ optimized.

 

Part 8: The Goddess Vilified.

Women who have Asherah’s qualities. Her hips, her lips are often scoffed at. After having a vision of a school Barbie appears before Sasha (who she thinks is the little girl who wants her) and Sasha schools her and tears her apart for being a mold or standard that doesn’t exist. How many times have we as women torn each others apart for being molds or standards that don’t exist?

I know this is taking really long the ending of this is super important so I’ll go as fast as possible through these next parts.  In a not small way we’re in the school scene where Barbie rips Sasha apart we are looking at both pretty girl privilege (which in essence doesn’t exist) and the unrealistic ideals set by Barbie. Pretty girl privilege could be it’s own post because it actually doesn’t exist.

Women or girls perceive that another women is pretty and they will often go out of their way to break that woman down. So “pretty girls” often live a really hard life, if you’ve ever seen the movie Malèna it’s a perfect case study of when a woman who is viewed as the most desirable woman in the village and because of this the other village women do everything that they can to tear her down. She is raped, everything for her beauty and eventually becomes not as pretty and then the other woman start to treat her in more humanly ways once her beauty fades.

On another side (because clearly the example above isn’t necessarily a spiritual one but a personal one about how the story of Barbie connected within me, because it connected in more ways than one), but on another side it’s referring to absolute frustration at the standards of Barbie. Barbie set a standard that is so high that it is impossible to reach. And the reason why it’s impossible to reach is because it’s not actually there.

The standard doesn’t even actually exist which is why (little basketball analogy here), every woman misses her shot because not only has the basketball hoop been set high – it’s not actually there). 

Part 9: Mattel collecting Asherah.

Mattel has been tipped off that the real Barbie and the real Ken are in the real world (what a tongue twister) – this is big because if the real Barbie and the real Ken are in the real world than if Barbie especially changes her frequency it will update the frequency of every woman in the world. And so they go out to find Barbie (their not worried about Ken which in reality they underestimated him). Barbie is led up to the top of the building and into a room full of men. This represents how in both religious  and spiritual practices the heads of them are all men. Historically speaking a lot of these religious organizations or groups were once matriarchal or had matriarchal roots.

If you look at the heads of a lot of practices, Islam actually has ties to three different goddesses – one of them Asherah, Adunola the Oracle shares that in Catholicism a lot of the the hats that the popes and bishops wear are actually matriarchal symbols and in an interview that Isis Jade, the only red ḍākinī once shared she shared that  in tantra most of the head positions in (not quite sure what the term for it is), are men. Even if you look at the Yorbua religion which for even though I don’t follow the religion I’ve taken the stories of Orishas and Oshun especially and interpreted Oshun and really all the Orishas and goddesses as parts of us and found them very healing. Well in Yorbra, all of the Babalawos are  men.  And this isn’t to hate on men. I love men. It’s just that right now I’m telling the story of Barbie.

Part 10: Barbie gets into the box.

When Barbie gets into the box she begins to get short glimpses of who she is. I call this divine feminine rememberings. I used to share my stories of my travels on YouTube and I remember someone once reached out to me and told me thank you for sharing because me sharing reminded her of things she once knew and it reminded her of the life giving feminine.

Remember things from other lifetimes has happened many times, and sometimes it’s an inverse of a memory that’s being acted today.

I’ve had many moments of being in a barbie box. I’ve found though that the more that I remember the past it leads to a lost of memory about my life as a child and my current life now.

I noticed during my feminine awakening that with quite a few women who have a lot of divine feminine energy as they remembered bits of the past they forgot their childhoods and now I try not to remember anymore. I feel like my body leads and guides me in what to do because she’s a person all in herself and I’m okay with that. We can have memories of being Parisian Barbie and memories of being Sex Priestesses or memories of being sex itself inside are barbies. The barbies have many different editions from a sex priestess to being sex itself or Barbie lingerie are you the original edition?

Part 11: Barbie being chased.

Barbie uses the excuse that she needs to use the restroom and makes a run for it. And the men run after her.

This represents Barbie being chased by other spiritual worlds waking up to the fact that she’s here.

Part 12: Ruth Handler’s ghost.

The moment that she meets Ruth Handler’s ghost (the creator of Barbie) is probably the moment that she meets her spirit guide.

I personally have never met my or anyone’s spirit guide. I’ve seen Asherah but I can’t even say that I’ve seen her, I just knew that she was there with me and she alone knew my story or what my journeys really been. Although I guess a way that I can use this moment and perhaps may be helpful for all of us, is in a way what Ruth Handler was saying, “Hey what those people were saying about you is not true.”

Part 13: Barbie is saved by America’s car (America plays Sasha’s mom Gloria).

America who is a secretary at the Mattel has overheard the conversation and realized who Barbie is. She runs and gets her car and saves Barbie. Barbie gratefully gets into her car.

Barbie jumping in the car represents different people you meet on your journey who say  – “Hey jump in the car.” And sometimes the cars you are in aren’t good. Sometimes you have to find a way to get out of the car, sometimes a car takes you to the wrong place but sometimes you arrive at the right destination. 

I’ve gotten into a few cars. Remember the podcast that I once did with Carla Maria Cadotte? Well in the beginning of our conversation I shared about me being in a room with a bunch of men and things were happening into my womb. A couple of years later Carla and I looked into it and turns out it was dark pantheon magic from Egypt.

Can you imagine going through a spiritual awakening, being at the beginning of your journey and waking up to the fact that a room of billionaires (I was literally working in a room of billionaires) and then finding out they had used me in a past life in a way I would rather not talk about. That was definitely the wrong car, and the wonderous thing is that my car itself was trying to warn me to not get onto the plane. The night before I had the strangest mishap happening to me while I was driving and I think it was the spiritual world trying to intercede for me, telling me that the event that I was about to go too was a car that I should have passed by.

I’ve also been in the car of using to play with my Barbies, forming all the Kens in a circle around a single barbie on a center and being on a hill. I’ve shared this memory many, many times on the podcast. How I realized later while working with Carla that it goes all the way back to Egypt as well and Isis and Osiris. Full disclaimer, I don’t know what a thing of this actually means. I had a dream I was actually Sex. And years ago when I did a womb mediation with my YBBW sister Christina Joy (who I’ve actually interviewed on the Underneath Your Lingerie podcast as well). This was at the very beginning of my journey and she thought it was interesting that I didn’t have a soul family and that my womb was the sky. Where in the mediation most people see their soul family, all I saw was the sky.

I have to be careful though, I once interviewed a lady for the podcast, just like I did Carla and Christina but this lady stole my stuff. I guess she took them in her car and thought Asherah’s name would fit better in her trunk. I took her episode down and now have reuploaded it but just take heed that some cars are repaints.

Part 14: Returning back to Barbie Land.

Ken takes patriarchy back to Barbie land with him. In a podcast with Aubrey Marcus and Blu, Aubrey mentioned that the entire world is woven out of the Shekinah.

Shekinah represents the divine feminine and were wearing her as our body. Divine Feminine Barbies were sold to demons and then later Divine Feminine Barbies were sold as energy service workers to men. As Ryan Goslings character Ken said (this is a paraphrase), “Women exist to uplift and celebrate the presence of men.” What to do you need to uplift? A high vibration.

 When something is pure it becomes a nutrition source. I’m going to use a metaphor here to explain something rather dark…

Imagine your on Santa’s naughty list. Your soul has always been on Santa’s naughty list so you can do all the naughty things and as long as you can find a tree of life and suck the energy out of it (“she doesn’t need it, it renews anyway” – which is completely wrong to say about anyone), your souls clean.

There’s also certain Barbies that have extra special things so (and again I’m talking from the viewpoint of one of those “evil possessed people” which I’m just using that phrase to describe certain spirits and the Watchers and stuff), but “If you get yourself one of those Barbie’s you’ve found a diamond.” 

For some reason when I say that quote it makes me think of Treasure Trolls which I know is dating myself. And it’s not that we are trolls in any sense but treasure trolls were these adorable little trolls with gemstones in them.

It’s kind of like that but instead of trolls it’s like there are different crystals inside of different Barbies and the Barbie itself is a life essence. So in a way it’s like a life essence to that crystal.

 Barbies that are Black have a life frequency under their skin and Filipino Barbie have a special restoring frequency inside of them so if your frequency is breaking down but then you sleep or feast on a Filipino Barbie your frequency rebuilds. Black Barbies have a life frequency under their skin, by putting them in places of poverty or being looked down as less beautiful by society their easier to access. And a complete side note but it was really shocking to me when I met a guy who needed to heal from the fact that he liked black women. He was so ashamed that he liked black women because according to society we’re not the kind of Barbies that are meant to be desired (at least that was his take on it, I really wish he had never shared that with me).

The funny thing about this, remember earlier I was talking about Asherah’s looks. Asherah looks pacific islander/black/biracial, glowing skin, dark hair Barbie – she looks black but not black, she didn’t have 4c hair. It was long and beautiful. I wish I could get my hair like that.

Shekinah Barbies are usually white and I think it’s because of the Black and Filipino ones are gone. Their energy lines have been wiped out. Just conjecture but I have a little bit of a hunch.

Barbie is in shock and disillusioned that Barbieland has become such a disarray when for her it was going to be her safe place.

This for me symbolizes how I felt 2 weeks ago and even in this moment as well. I spent quite a bit of time living in a situation where I was violated I escaped it, moved somewhere else where for a few weeks I was safe and thought I had escaped it, but then  I experienced a weird very, very wrong eerie-like feeling just moments after moving in. I couldn’t place the feeling and a few weeks ago on a Friday morning I woke up to the feeling of someone opening up my ovary.

Because of the Barbie design or high frequency that’s inside of my body I’ve spent the few years being bedridden for the majority of the time. That’s how I became a sex worker in the first place. I had all these different memories from the past but could barely right. And the frequency is so light and airy like anyone – in this case my roommate, in the year and half before it was an entire town of men in which I could feel my body being energetically moved and energetically raped and used in a way that serves them.

And this isn’t some spiritual realm stuff, this is something where you are conscious of what’s happening but it’s like a type of mind control in which your body is being used in a puppet, almost like if you have ever seen anyone who practices BDSM and you’ll notice that the body itself will automatically respond and can be trained to be that responsive to certain queues. Which personally I think finding the right BDSM partner is very rare and I don’t advocate it,  I personally attract a lot of clients who are interested in doing BDSM with me and I’ve done a little bit of it but it wasn’t true BDSM because it was online.

When I first interviewed Sensuality Coach Kara Singson for the Underneath Your Lingerie podcast I thought that perhaps I could specialize in SPH as a webcam model. Well I actually attract a ton of dominate men. And every single one has told me that it’s my aura, my aura gives me away.

Well how can you hide your aura when your aura’s all around your body? When as a tiny little church child I was told to cover my body because I was attracting the men at the meeting, it wasn’t my body they were attracted to – it was my aura. It’s a certain element of your Barbie. Do you remember how Barbies come in a box and she has what makes her barbie in the box, it’s kind of like that.

Part 15: Archetypes.

This is jumping out of order here but there’s  a scene after the Kens have lost to the Barbies and Ken is sitting in Barbie’s dream house feeling like he’s completely incomplete and that he was designed for Barbie.

Here’s the thing, when you play with the archetypes you mess up the actual thing which is what Barbie and Ken is about.

Part 16: The Masculinity War.

I honestly didn’t see any parallel here or want to create one just for the heck of it, I loved Singing in the Rain and so I was way more into that than any symbology (plus I thought it was really cool how the Ken doll who was Asian was Shangi-Chi and being carried into the battle on a special Asian throne). Personally I literally loved singing in the rain then I was thinking about how this might represent the war on masculinity. So no idea.

Part 17: What the men did to Barbies.

One things is that they will tell you in the spiritual world is that sex is malleable. Sex energy can be formed in any way. Which is why Barbie can be formed in any way.

Earlier I shared that both Christians and those of the spiritual world would hate me. I delivered on the first, now it’s time for the later. In the spiritual world there’s this almost holy glorification of something called the Kundalini.

Well here’s the thing. I was going through my second Kundalini awakening (I get that most people only have one, I also get that most people can’t even survive one – it’s so high) my body’s able to hold higher transformations or vibrations than most women, and it’s not a good thing I’m really sore about it. You know how at the end of the movie when Barbie is disillusioned on the grass and completely given up – that’s how I am. So I was going through my Kundalini awakening, pissed off. And so I did something that I’ve never heard of anyone ever – shaman, yoga teacher, Youtube tarot card reader, Youtube divine feminine guru has ever said to do. I stopped it.Your not going to believe this. The moment that I stopped it I was Asherah in the room and I was pleading with The Kundalini, like the Kundalini actually existed as I guess I would say an entity to get back into my body. And I don’t remember what the promise was but when I stopped the Kundalini energy from rising up through my spine and instead broke my promise (please know that when I say this I’m choosing words for moments there are no words for).

Well that moment I that  I stopped it I realized what sex trafficking actually was. It’s other energies, including this time Kundalini inhabiting our bodies.

Sex is being trafficked and since we’re wearing her we’re being trafficked too. I’m not sure I’m wording this right but it’s almost like were being sold energetically and because of this the physical has followed.  Our bodies are goddess, a Barbie, an energy field. But if we don’t use all our energy in her other energies will enjoy her instead. The body is actually older than the soul.

Part 18: America’s Speech.

Towards the end of the movie America gave a very powerful speech speaking to the collective unconscious. So many people began to cry when they heard it and when they cried it was their bodies crying, not just them.

Part 19: Discontinued Barbies still exist.

Discontinued Barbies are in the Shaman’s house and this is a representation of how discontinued barbies are still here just hidden.

Part 20: Barbies being healed and taken their powers back.

Just as I try to encourage women that our bodies are our lingerie made out of the softest, silkiest, most luxurious lace in the world I love also sharing with metaphor of women quietly being told of what’s under their lingerie. You have a crystal underneath  your lingerie. You have the body of the goddess underneath your lingerie.

Now for a moment, think of the body of a goddess like a sex crystal that heals and renews others. That’s a much better analogy than the tree of life.

The physiology vs. anatomy is more like a crystal with women themselves being crystals. So when a woman places her attention into men she charges them up, literally like how a full moon is said to charge up a crystal a women “charges” up her man.

Dr. Alicia Dukhov is brilliant and has done developed a special practice around intention and attention and coming back inside ourselves, returning our power in.

The campfire scene represents a lot of things (especially when you think of soft power) but also mainly it’s women are taking their attention back into their bodies.

Part 21: The Barbie celebration in the presidential suite.

There’s a very high frequency coming through certain women (and men and trans) wombs right now because the body itself is the Queen of Heaven and what this frequency does it wakes up the different Barbies that have been waiting to wake up in a women’s body.

This is the celebration scene, every Barbie is saying, “Oh here, there you are again!” It could also mean more.

Part 22: Barbie coming into the real world.

This is really vulnerable to share. A couple of years ago I had an immaculate birth. I gave birth to a being that I cannot see whose now a part, although she or it has always been there – I know because as I gave birth I could feel all the shock and trauma, this little being or soul remembered all the memories from certain horrific things I experienced as a kid up to that present moment of being slut shamed and isolated. I didn’t see anything but it’s intelligence is like Grogu, the life span catches up fast. It might be a sexual frequency, and I say that because I used Tyra Banks has this method of “smizing” with her eyes and when you look into her method you really understand what she’s talking about is sexual transmutation and that’s how you get the “smoldering” look in photographs. That sexy goddess look of owning the photographs. I could only smize during that time and haven’t been since. I’m hesitant about sharing this because I’m not someone who wants to be studied, I’m aware of what happened to Henrietta Lacks and how her DNA was used because where most cells died hers continued to live and because of this they were harvested, I’m aware of Sally Hemmings, Thomas Jeffersons 12 year old “mistress” where at at 12 years old your not a mistress, it’s not your choice and your being raped. I’m aware of Sarah Baartman and how her gorgeous feminine goddess-like shaped body was treated like a freak show. Even Albert Einsteins body, after he died they split his brain open so they could study it. We just don’t tend to give people sacredness around their bodies are acceptance that different people will experience different things. And as a woman going through everything I’ve been through as much as I talk about things I stay silent about them as well. I never thought I would share what happened to me because frankly it’s no one’s business,  and one thing I’ve found is that people can feel entitled to people who are different in a very scary way.

Earlier I mentioned about following the dresses that Barbie wears and towards the end Barbie is wearing yellow. I know it’s a call back to the Wizard of Oz but for me it’s call for Oshun and how in movies when a woman is in her sensuality and delight she’s often wearing a yellow dress.

Part 23: Barbie’s healthy womb.

There’s a quote that I love by Yves St. Laurent that goes, “Fashion fades, style is eternal.”  If you look at the Victoria’s Secret sign you’ll see that it’s a V with an “S” inside of it. Well the S represents Barbie or the Shekinah and the V a woman’s womb, the space that her legs meet or her “velvet place.”

In the beginning of Isis are the parts where a women’s legs meet. What does the word Genesis which can also be spelled “gene” “isis” mean, well gene is a Greek word that means beginning, which leaves us with a little bit of playing with the word “Isis” as the end of the word. 

I worked at Victoria’s Secret for 7 years and I would always wonder if any psychologist or behavior therapists have ever studied women and their panty buying methods.

Whenever the was some kind of storm women would rush into the store and buy panties and I don’t think it’s far fetched that it goes back to a time where women used to communicate with their pussies or the sex crystal between their legs.

Which I’m not personally crazy about the word pussy or vagina, I just call it my velvet place but funny story since we’re talking about vaginas. I worked for the Women’s Resource Center in college and every year we would put on The Vagina Monologues. Which (to quote Wikipedia here because I don’t know how to describe it and this has been a very long post) This a play by Eve Ensler that explores consensual and nonconsensual sexual experiences, body image, genital mutilation, direct and indirect encounters with reproduction, vaginal care, menstrual periods, sex work, and several other topics through the eyes of women with various ages, races, sexualities, and other differences. It’s so empowering and healing to talk about it and see women talking about experiences that they have had with their vaginas on a stage, some of them empowering and most of them sad but to see women after women take their ownership back and it was amazing. 

And it never failed that every year some preacher would show up to the college upset about it, upset that women were talking about their vaginas. “It’s like sir, perhaps if we had talked about her before all this other stuff wouldn’t have happened in the first place.” 

I’ve gotten really far off topic and Barbie though but in the way I a haven’t because Barbie doesn’t have a vagina.  And Barbie, as we’ve heavily discussed in this post is the Divine Feminine.

As I’ve gone about my journey and moved from one Victoria’s Secret to the next not understanding what was happening I had no idea that it was literally printed as a mudra on the striped pink Victoria’s Secret bag. I’m not great about sharing about archeology  however I once read a book about mudra’s it mentioned that for example the power sign on a computer is mudra, it’s a circle which represents the yoni and the line at the time represents the lingam, and if you look at it every time we push the power sign on our computer our turns on. Isn’t that neat? Our computer literally comes to life by us touching that mudra.

I’m sure Victoria’s Secret had no idea what their symbol is for. The V represents the V in a woman’s legs. The S? Stands for Shekinah or in a way it can stand for how a women’s body has been used for sex. I tend to like to think more positive so I prefer that it’s the sign of the Shekinah.

The S could mean so many things, it could mean spirit, it could mean soul. The V could be Vibration and within every vibration there is an S, all these different meanings come to the same thing which is so sacred and beautiful.

Brazilian priests that serve the Poma Gira ( a group of Brazilian saints who are said to protect children who have been abused and sex workers)  it is believed that the Shekinah is a frequency so high that only women can carry it – as discussed in this conversation here with a Brazilian priest on the Magikal Solution podcast, this is what makes women so special. The vibration in their bodies. Aka, the Victoria’s secret panties and the energy that I can see emitting from a women’s legs.

Personally I think men are beginning to carry this frequency as well and the reason why I think this is because I’ve discovered that the ones of the way that the vibration manifests itself is as gut problems. 80% of people who suffer from gut problems are women and more and more men, I like to think of them as descendants of the goddess are coming down with them as well and I think it’s because the body itself is the Queen of Heaven or Barbie.

One cool thing about the Shekinah is that she actually appears in Star Trek because the actor who was Jewish who played Spock used her as symbol, the Jewish symbol of the Shekinah as a hand gesture for Vulcan’s and once the episode was live this hand gesture went viral with literally none knowing what they were doing. Here is a short clip of him talking about it.

Another cool thing about the Divine Feminine is that there is some discussion around the world El Shaddi, it actually means God of the Double Breasted One, now I tend to take the view that is someone who either owned or was over the woman who has breasts (just as earlier I mentioned Yah and HIS consort Asherah) so it’s in the possessive so I don’t share all the same views as the video below but it’s still worth playing…

I’m not really sure where to place this and since I guess I wasn’t saved from it I guess I can. In Genesis it mentions that there was a mist that rose up, and if you draw what’s mentioned it looks like perhaps a mist rose and up and just perhaps a canopy of water covered the earth.

This is all just perhaps, quite frankly sometimes reading the Bible really affects me in a negative way, like I can feel my power being drained as I read it so while I used to read the full bible every year I don’t do that anymore, that’s why all my references in this post are general. I just have a good memory because I memorized a new Bible verse every week for Bible school. It’s literally burned into my subconscious.

I have a condition called lazy eye and when I had an eye operation the nurses  said that when I was in the recovery room and hadn’t woken up yet I was repeating bible verse after bible verse. She had never seen that before. And it’s not to say that all my verses are correct but I have some background.

I remember a teacher sharing this in Sunday school, how about a canopy of water covered the earth and how it’s almost like when the flood (which appears in almost ever culture in the world that there was a  flood) what was happening is that the canopy of water was broken. This canopy was between the water and the sun and because of this once the sun had more access to the earth it shortened the lives of men. If you look at the life spans that are given before the flood and after their drastically different.

This was just me going off on a tangent and not related to the barbie style at all. And please know, none of this post is me pushing an agenda. I wish quite honestly I had watched the Barbie movie and didn’t see all the symbolism that I did. I don’t want to relate to any of this that I’ve written but unfortunately I do.

I once was able to book a free session with a crisis coach. I called out literally to the air for a crisis/trauma coach, searched on google and couldn’t find anything and then I opened my email and an email was there offering free bookings for a crisis consultation so I booked one.  It was perfect because it was a male. Most of my story I only feel comfortable talking with a woman however I was searching for a male coach in this case because,  but I needed to be able to tell my story to someone and not have to be aware of their emotions because their also a woman. I’m a super empath and I always want to make sure that the women I’m sharing my secrets with are ok, which perhaps you’ve felt in this podcast how I’m trying to not make this post shocking. And I’ve also realized that as a woman, there’s certain aspects that I realize as women it’s impossible for other women to process so if you’ve noticed I’ve shared things rather gingerly hear and I’m so grateful for you taking me in such a beautiful way.

And I shared with him that wherever I’m going I’m raped by men and by other things, for example if I’m suicidal than suicide would become a living thing somehow (I guess the tree of life or a women’s feminine energy ) can bring everything to life and suicide would rape me. With jealously the same thing. He actually understood what I was saying and he one of things that he told me was to love myself unconditionally and I’m still practicing – how to love myself even though my body is so unlike other women. I would rather read this story about someone else than write it about myself. I find that women can often discount things, “Oh that was you being strong.” No sis this is me trying to live.” Here’s the other thing, he gave me other recommendations as well and like I said I was living in a weird environment.

I also faced abuse everywhere I went. Including my roommate. It’s almost like in Wonder Women when Diana realizes that she’s a godkiller and that  Ares itself is after her and how Ares ends up in being a man who she has a battle with. Well throughout my journey the energy of Ares is in all these men. What’s weird to share is that during my what I like to call Purisian (not really sure what barbie they were referring to in that scene) Barbie, aka Barbie in a Box moment I began speaking a language that almost sounds like a feminine form of Slytherin, a language found in the Harry Potter book series. I used to speak it as a child too and didn’t speak it again until I heard a meditation which had a secret vibration to it and said “Remember who you are.” Well I began to speak in another language. Just like when I was a child I keep it secret and hidden but I only share it here because and this is going to sound impossible however the person that I was living spoke a variation of the same language. He took drugs but I don’t think this was the drugs, in the mornings he would start speaking this other language in the house and it was so scary because phonetically it sounded similar to my but culturally not. My words were soft Slytherin or snakelike, his were harsh. It’s hard to explain. It sounded like a demon snake. The frequencies were completely different. I’m trying my best to be funny here but it’s Men in Black gone bad.

Well after speaking with this man who was giving me some guidance, which I was really grateful for. It was a free session in which he gave me the most expensive gift I just assumed that everything would take a long time. Here’s the ting, and I was scared to share this because I think I was hoping that by not sharing something this personal it would be allowed to come to life but now I’ve given up hope.

 Well after meeting over the phone with this coach, while walking to the store I somehow had built up a giant womb around me and it’s almost like energies in men and dogs and spirits could sense it and whenever I tried to set it up it they would appear and distract me and the pink pussy that was surrounding me would disappear again. And this actually was a shield against my roommate. However I can’t do it anymore. For a moment and I think I still secretly  do with that I could create one for myself and then one for the world so that I would have the protection and then can give to shekinah which is in all women, men, and children – it might, and this is a big might, it might even break anything to do with soul contracts or past lives because the body is in all actuality older than the soul.

But I can’t do it anymore which is why I’m sharing it because I’ve given up hope that it’s impossible, however if anyone knows how it’s possible know that it exists. And when I saw Barbie in the gynecologist office I don’t know why but that’s the first thing that I thought of.

I want to still be careful with what I share in case it is still relevant. On the same day I met with the crisis coach had a moment where a clear white orb or circle was around me and I walked in step with it and for just a few seconds all my chronic fatigue went away. I’m only writing this because until now I’ve forgotten that moment happened. My pain is my reality. But I forgot that was possible.

I shared personal stories here but Barbie is you. She’s you in every woman in the world.

In the beginning of the movie Barbie’s shown two shoes.  The Shekinah is a very high vibration. The heels that barbies were are heels that only Barbie’s can wear and designed for Barbie’s feet. By the end of the movie she’s in Birkenstocks. The vibration has been changed into a design that every woman could wear. I could make a really bad joke about Birkenstock’s here but I won’t, I’ll just quote Victoria’s Beckham here and say I can’t concentrate in flats.

Also here’s a cool video that I just stumbled past and would love to share here…

Barbie has her womb back and your wearing it. I know this post was a lot, just remember that your Barbie and what it means to wear her body.

Thank you for reading this weeks blog post on Underneath Your Lingerie.

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