I used to run the way other way when people mentioned feminine energy, especially when it came to being feminine with men. I thought that femininity meant suppressing myself, leaving vulnerable and abused.
I didn’t realize that what feminine energy and femininity is, is leaning into the energy field that within my body instead of ruining it.
As women we are meant to live in our bodies in softness and light but how do you do that in a world that isn’t either one?
There is a lot of rhetoric out there that we have to use both our feminine and our masculine energy but I don’t think that’s true. And the reason why I don’t believe that it’s true is because there are women on earth who are the exact replica of the divine feminine. And the divine feminine? Well the divine feminine was 100% feminine energy, that’s why she was divine.
How do women like this live?
How do women like this operate in a masculinized world?
Well the answer is that we melt it.
Below I’ve made myself a feminine energy – think of it as a “Feminine life skills” checklist, and in order to do it I studied the woman that the world often throws away.
The kept woman.
The Aphrodite in the Bedroom.
The “soft girl” lifestyle woman.
I studied me. And as a webcam model I tailored it to myself. As a daughter and a sister I tailored it to myself. As a woman with a chronic lifetime illness I tailored it to myself. And the more that I did it I felt my femininity become alive.
Here is what I came up with, may these diamonds help to inspire you!
The Ultimate Perfume List:
- “Find the light and expand it.” – Daphne Joy.
- Speak gently.
Your voice is alive, be gentle with her.
- Offer connection through soft eye contact and deep listening.
- Be lighter and more feminine with your frequency
- The more feminine I keep it the stronger I’ll be.
- The lighter and more sensual the fragrance the lighter and more sensual I have to learn to make my body to hold it.
- Always be in receivership mode with compliments.
Feminine is about receivership and I secretly monitor how feminine I am in whether or not I’m able to receive a compliment or if I throw them back.
- Always hold your elegance (especially with racism).
- Keep your lace, your attention together (when your attention is fractured you lose your power, I feel the effects of this when streaming).
- See yourself as a new perfume design your learning.
- Be mystical (your entire trash drawer doesn’t have to be open).
Everyone doesn’t have to know all of your business all of the time.
- Quietly know your own truth – regardless of what others say about.
- Have boundaries that your comfortable with (think of Daphne Joy and how she only had booty teases on her OF).
I run my own Only Angels and see how other sensual woman run theirs, when I subscribed to Daphne Joy I was surprised to find out that as one of the #1 accounts she doesn’t show all of her “desserts”, she has her own boundaries and I admire that.
- With my OF this is a little microscope, a little keyhole into how I am in the bedroom.”
This is a viewpoint that I use to give my power back to me instead of falling into the stigma was given to me. When a man sees your sexuality or being sensual in any context it’s only a peek into who you are, it’s only a small miniscule window into a fraction of you and there’s so much more to your spirit, mind, and soul!
- You can still have a high sex drive and be the most feminine woman in the world, you don’t have to choose.
I loved this viewpoint because people often think that running an OF means you have to post promiscuous things online, or (what I’m seeing and I wrote about in my “Sexy is an Aura” fashion article), women of all walks of life are walking around wearing nothing. That’s not sexy. It’s definitely time for the “Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets” to come back and you can only be a lady in the streets if you dress like one instead of wearing what the world carelessly calls us “Only Fan girls” think that we actually wear.
- Touching your body.
I was taught this trick by a stripper and I use this while camming all the time – when your dancing in front of a man and slowly caress your hand he visually images everywhere you touch your body with your hand as him touching you there.
- Cultivate a friendly energy: I had a bad experience with someone else, maybe with the next person it might be better. I try to use this in both situations with racism/ racial disrespect ( which I share in my post about how to hold onto your softness as a Chocolate woman while being attacked) and also with “mean girl energy”, this way I’m using neuroscience to my benefit and training my mind to look for the good..
- Verbal and non-verbal boundaries: This can be anything from a silent saucy stare, to pivoting the conversation in another direction by using sentences and phrases such as…
- – “How, what, where” – Switching up conversation.
- – Submissive no (with body collapsing) vs. “triggered no.” (Only in safe situations!)
- – Staring with eyes, “The silent stare”
- – I can’t tell you xyz, but I can tell you what my preference is. -” – Daphne Joy.
- Take your time (especially with responses).
- The sexual pause.
- To quote Daphne Joy again- “Sometimes sexuality isn’t talking. Sometimes it’s the simmer between you.”
- Utterly with you…
- BEING FEMININE. INSIDE AND FOR YOU.
“Underneath my lingerie is the lightest, softest, most feminine perfume in the world.”
The hardest thing that I’ve learned on my journey is that I have to be the form of my fragrance and being this feminine has allowed me to hold onto my sensual design as a woman. Being this feminine has given me back to my body.
For more sparkle and icing here are a few more “situation specific” ways aka high heels to be a more feminine woman in specific settings…
- Special points:
- Feminine Body:
There’s a special place within your body that entities can feast on. And how you protect this place is that you connect to your inner glow.
“Rehearse deep conversations from my velvet.’ This is a practice that I learned from Dr. Kaouthar Darmoni, rehearse something you want to say to someone while opening and closing the doors to your palace and then when you are face to face to someone open the doors to your palace as you speak and you’ll draw your power from there in an influential way.
Emphasize points with my breast. – Another technique that I learned from Dr. Darmoni, She’s from Tunsania when as a child her aunt was going to be forced to marry someone she didn’t want too. Dr. Darmoni’s grandmother who was well revered in her town went to the circle of men and brought Dr. Darmoni with her. She says as a child she remembers looking up and seeing her Grandmothers chest rise up and down under her gown as she proclaimed that ” Her daughter will not marry that man.” And the men actually listened!
When it comes to business:
- Design your schedule in a “Soft girl way.
- See yourself as Niagara falls – your this gorgeous collection of fragrance, it feels beautiful to experience and be underneath the falls and witness how gorgeous it is. There’s all these business that benefit financial from the natural wonder of the falls (in terms of others and you) and there’s the “Canadian” side (when your energy is pure and healthy) and there’s the American side (which is low energy and nowhere near as pretty) these settings of your field. What is your energy giving birth too? Also (and this one is the most important) be mindful when Niagara falls, falls down to a trickle.
- Feel, juice yourself up with creativity breaks. This is something I have to be mindful to do when working, instead of draining myself I’ve had to learn to “fuel” myself, our “sexual” or life force energy and our money energy is our creative energy.
- Go high, soft, & luxurious in the simplest way.
- Save up as much money as you can so you can live the “soft girl” life.
- With racism:
- Look for the ones that aren’t racist.
- Reconnect with feeling pretty.
- If someone’s racist they’ve already lost control, don’t loose control with them.
- Never treat their opinion like a fact.
- Cultivate a friendly environment. If your in public and you’ve just had a harsh racist experience with someone cultivate a friendly environment because otherwise when your out here wounded more blood hounds are showing up.
- Connect to the senses of your body in order to ground you.
- Keep your elegance.
Keep your elegance in all situations, keep your elegance of beauty and your poise in your femininity. Your softness, your sensuality is your aura and when you aura is kept in soft, sensual ways your entire body comes alive and the results will take your breath away by how sensual and beautiful you can become!
There is no limit to your sensual body and how many oz. of your divine femine perfume that you as a woman can hold.
One video that has recently inspired me to be more attached to my femininity is this date between DJ Akademiks and Daphne Joy, this is a visual representation of a woman who has full tapped into her feminine energy and even in the comments you can see how many men melt around her at her feet.